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When You Feel Guilty About Moving Mom to Senior Living

July 17, 2019

You’ve found mom a great senior living community. But, then the feelings of guilt start to come up. As with any big life decision, it’s normal to have times of doubt. When you’re experiencing caregiver guilt, use these thoughts to see your feelings in a new light. Reframing your feelings may help you see the positive side of mom’s new home.

I don’t want to fail her.

Too often we think there’s only one way to success. You may have pictured mom staying in her own home for the long term. Or, maybe your role as caregiver didn’t work like you had planned. However, it’s important to remember the main goal – getting mom the care she needs no matter the situation. If you decided that a senior living community was the best way to meet that goal, then it was the right choice.

I feel like she’s been abandoned.

Just because your living arrangements change, it doesn’t mean your connection with mom does. By choosing a community, you are far from abandoning her. You’re showing how much you love her by getting her the right care and supporting her well-being. According to the AARP, it’s important to let go of the idea that you can provide everything your loved one needs without help. Be realistic about the benefits she’s receiving, and remember, you’ll still get to see her often.

I lose my patience with mom.

Don’t feel guilty if you have the occasional frustration with mom. At some point, your aging parent may try your patience, or you may not agree. It happens in every relationship. Reframe these moments by realizing they may signal you need a break. Be sure you take time for yourself, get enough rest, and find others with whom you can share your feelings. In this case, you can’t support mom if you aren’t getting the support you need too.

I feel guilty about spending less time with her.

If you’ve been the primary caregiver in mom’s life, you may not spend as much time together now. While it can be an adjustment at first, often it’s a good thing for both of you. Stay involved in her daily life by asking questions and getting to know her new routine. Talk about how often and when you should visit. Many times, seniors benefit from being around others their age. Most likely, she’ll find new interests, connections, and friends that might not have happened without her new home.

As you and mom adjust to her new community, it’s likely that any feelings of guilt will slowly go away. At Parkwood, we’re here to guide you both through the transition to senior living. Learn more about our community and how we can make it as stress-free – and guilt-free – as possible.

Let us help you navigate this journey. Call us today!

Parkwood Healthcare: (817) 354-6556
Parkwood Retirement (817) 354-1044 

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Bedford, TX 76022

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